be careful out there

On a blanket from Taiwan:
Not to be used as protection from a tornado.

Warning on fireplace log:
Caution -- Risk of Fire.

A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

On a bottle of shampoo for dogs:
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.

On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions - open packet, eat nuts.

On a hotel provided shower cap:
Fits one head.

On Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On an electric hair straightener:
Do not clamp on nose.

On my car's sunshade:
Caution: Remove before driving.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Well, we've discussed the absurdity of our modern world, the world you will inherit. Here are some other "don'ts" to ponder, based on the "bias and sensitivity review" that has effectively mandated the prohibition of certain politically incorrect or "insensitive" words (I'm a little afraid to use the word mandate):

Adam and Eve (replace with "Eve and Adam" to demonstrate that males do not take priority over females)
Bookworm (banned as offensive, replace with intellectual)
Chief Sitting Bull (banned as "Colonialism," replace with Tatanka Iyotanka)
Craftsmanship (banned as sexist)
East or Eastern (banned as Eurocentric)
Actress (banned as sexist, use Actor)
Polo (banned as elitist)
Stickball (banned as regional)
Snowman (banned as sexist, replace with snowperson)
Past one's prime (banned as ageist)
Pumpkin (banned as a symbol of pagan ritual)

No, I'm not kidding.

Textbook publishers use these guidelines to be minimally offensive:

Images to avoid:

Girls as peaceful, emotional, warm
Boys as strong, rough, competitive
Native Americans living in rural settings
Native American males with long hair
Old people with canes

Each of these, and there are many others, are designed to remove stereotypes. Now, don't get me wrong, all of this is noble. Any attempt to make students feel more comfortable and able to succeed in what they do is a good idea. But when does a good idea go bad? I'm sorry, if I fail to remove the sunshade from my car before driving, then it's my fault when I get in an accident. It's my fault if I iron while wearing and it's my fault if I spill coffee on myself, whether or not it's clearly labelled as "Hot." Even you native Floridians should be able to describe a snowstorm, despite what they think in Massachusetts.

I don't know how you might fit all of this into your essays on the 1st Amendment, but it's food for thought.